SANA
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I think I made this beat like 5 years ago.
Reached out to multiple rappers to put some bars on it.
3 said they were stoked on it.
0 followed through.
Such is lyfe.
This poor little beat sat in my folder for years, wondering what his purpose was, wondering why nobody loved him, wondering if he’d ever be set free from the prison of my Dropbox.
I always liked this instrumental and didn’t think it was fair for him to serve a lifetime sentence and die in the cloud - so I decided to just put the instrumental on the next album. But when I listened through the full Farewell Machine album, this instrumental kept standing out as the least interesting song. I needed to bring it to life somehow, but I wasn’t feeling inspired to do it myself - I needed help.
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Cue lightbulb above my head.
Inside that lightbulb was an epic artist named Safiya Labelle.
Safiya is a mystical creature from Salt Spring island. Her expression humbles me. Especially her voice. The first time I heard her sing, I giggled to myself in a confusing euphoria. It was a visceral experience of knowing someone is just flat out way better at this singy thing than I am. Her voice and melody choices are bonkers beautiful. Goosebump inducing. I’ve experienced tons of these moments as a musician and comedian. Witnessing someone great is simultaneously awe-inspiring and confronting.
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“You shouldn’t compare yourself to others, blah blah blah.”
Meh. We do compare ourselves to others. It’s natural. Just admit when someone is dope and move on. Humility is healthy. Knowing your place gives you a realistic point to improve from. Spinning out in jealousy is a waste of brain juice. Instead of taking in the magic of greatness and using it as fuel, the artistic ego sabotages the moment to implode on itself. Ego be a sneaky boy with many ways to fuck your day.
Some egos spiral down the toilet of loathing into dinky little pools of victim flavored self-pity. Some egos frantically splatter bullshit all over the ceiling in a desperate attempt to exist and dominate. Maybe life as a ghost won’t be so bad as you convince yourself nothing matters and atrophy into oblivion. Or maybe all these peasants should build a monument in your name and permanently mark your maniacal excellence into space and time.
I AM NOTHING - I AM ALL - YOU SHALL GARGLE ON MY BALL
Ego gets carried away.
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You don’t need to disappear.
You don’t need to dominate.
Just be a good person and keep making stuff.
You’ll be fine.
Art and life aren’t separate.
Art is a piece of your health.
Art is a practice.
Art is a bridge to connect.
Fart is an invitation to trust.
Fart is a whisper to the Gods.
Fart is a question to ponder.
Who dunnit?
Twas it I?
Twas.
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Music, laughter, storytelling, dance, and design are all part of our evolution. There’s a reason we feel compelled to art. But these ancient expressions happened inside of community, not isolation.
I’ve learned through many sad burnouts that I don’t need my entire identity wrapped up in this shit. To get fulfilling results you sometimes need to push past comfort and joy, but if the art is making you chronically lonely, exhausted, jaded, and jealous - me thinks it’s time to look around and smell the roses - which according to Outkast, really smell like poo poo poo.
Sometimes we need a simple reminder of what art feels like when it’s not a transaction.
Back to Salt Spring Island.
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Jamming around fire pits with Safiya and her little community of musical forest fairies was rejuvenating to my creative spirit. Making music together around the fire unlocked some feelings filed away in my DNA. As our cavemen ancestors might say -
MAKE FIRE!
MAKE SOUNDS!
DANCE YOUR BUM ROUND AND ROUND!
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And these island folks jam different. The fire seemed to burn away their fear and open them up to some innate rawness. We weren’t reading lyrics off of cellphones and yelling along to that one song we all heard on the radio - though that can be very fun if enough whiskey is present. It wasn’t a group of quiet marshmallow cookers watching the guitar dude put on his private talent show. It was collective improvisation and it felt like we were participating in something much older than entertainment as an industry.
There weren’t many words. Just a lot of voice and sound. It felt like the sauce before religion. Before books and chapters and commandments and Moses. Humans outside, sound and spirit soaring beyond symbols. It’s easy to drown in details and forget about the richness of our simple humanity. Internet based tribalism is a lame attempt in looking for something we miss. We just want to feel something together. But somehow the “together” has been commodified, vilified, dramatized, bastardized, algorithmized, and spat in our face.
Not this jam around the fire.
We were together, the vibes were thick, and art felt like shared state - rather than a game. The mushrooms might have helped.
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I ended up mixing and mastering Safiya’s first album - Shanti, which was a huge honor and helped us establish our long distance collaboration. When I asked her to send me vocal and violin layers for this tune, she got back to me quick. I did some chopping, threw some effects on, and voila.
Her voice and violin brought this tune to life. It went from my least favorite track on the album to one of my favorite things I’ve ever made. If her voice and violin sound mystical it’s because they facking are. Collaborating with Safiya is berry berry inspiring.
We are currently working on a 7 track album together. I’m thrilled.
I make instrumentals and let a genius vocalist be the voice.
I know my place in the ecosystem.
I still love singing for the joy of it, but this crazy wolf knows he ain’t a bird.
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Follow her instagram at @softfirearts
Check her album - Safiya Labelle - Shanti
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Farewell
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I don’t email often. Just when I’m dropping new music or have a big show coming up.